Popular Craps Sayings
Apr 27, 2016 - Explore Cary Vallery's board 'Quotes, Sayings & Inspirational Crap', followed by 162 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about quotes, sayings, words.
3-Way Craps - A bet made in units of 3 with one unit on 2, one unit on 3, and one unit on 12. This is a horn bet without the bet on 11. Acey-Deucy - A roll of the dice that results in a 1 and a 2. Advantage: The edge a casino has over a player on a particular bet. Any Craps A bet that the next roll will be 2, 3, or 12. This bet pays 7:1. The world is like a reverse casino. In a casino, if you gamble long enough, you're certainly going to lose. But in the real world, where the only thing you're gambling is, say, your time or your embarrassment, then the more stuff you do, the more you give luck a chance to find you.
Check out our collection of funny gambling jokes. We are sure they will make you laugh. If you have any gambling jokes as good, upload them at the bottom of this page.
1) I just bet £100 at the bookies that they would find Maddie, at 1000-1 odds. That way, if they ever do find her, I’ll be able to afford a fucking good lawyer.
Check out Really Funny Lawyer Jokes
2) Chuck-E-Cheese, because it’s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling.
3) My wife has left me because I am a compulsive gambler. I’d do anything to win her back.
4) Poker is like sex – everyone thinks they’re the best, but most people don’t have a clue what they’re doing. Dutch Boyd
Check out Really Funny Sex Jokes
5) What’s the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it.
6) A blond girl playing freeroll was taking her time and playing very slow. The timer was started and she still could not take a decision how to play the hand. Her friend asked her with surprise, “What is going on? Why aren’t you playing?” The blond girl replied, “I am playing! I am just slow-playing aces!”
Check out some of the funniest Dumb Blonde Jokes ever
7) Why didn’t the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs.
8) They say one in every seven friends have a gambling addiction. My money’s on Dave.
Check out Really Funny Money Jokes
9) What did the giraffe say to the tiger at the poker table? I thought you were a cheetah.
10) What’s the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years, the dog quits whining.
Check out Really Funny Animal Jokes
11) Whats the difference between online poker and live poker? You can cry after a bad beat online and no one will laugh at you.
Share these gambling jokes with your friends
12) Sign you might have a poker addiction: your kids are named check and raise.
13) I put a thousand pounds on a horse. The fucking thing collapsed.
Check out some of the best Horse Jokes ever published
14) Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
15) “I am looking for the book named ‘How to win easily and fast with poker.'” “Please check at the fantastic literature counter.”
16. Husband Comes Home After Gambling
I came home from the pub four hours late last night.
“Where the fuck have you been?” screamed my wife.
I said, “I’ve been playing poker with some blokes.”
“Playing poker with some blokes?” she repeated. “Well, you can pack your bags and go!”
“So can you,” I said. “This isn’t our house anymore.”
17. Professional Gambler Screws Everyone In The Bar
During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, “Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks.”
The bartender said, “That’s fine, but we’re in the middle of the Depression, so I’ll need to see some money first.”
The guy pulled out a huge wad of notes and set them on the bar. The bartender can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Where did you get all that money?” asked the bartender.
“I’m a professional gambler,” replied the man.
The bartender said, “There’s no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?”
“Well, I only bet on sure things,” said the guy.
“Like what?” asked the bartender.
“Well, for example, I’ll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye,” he said.
The bartender thought about it. “Okay,” he said.
So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. “Aw, you screwed me,” said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.
“I’ll give you another chance. I’ll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye,” said the stranger.
The bartender thought again and said, “Well, I know you’re not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I’ll take that bet.” So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.
“Aw, you screwed me again!” protested the bartender.
“That’s how I win so much money, bartender. I’ll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars,” said the man.
With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, “Bartender, I’ll give you one last chance. I’ll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whisky bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop.”
The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn’t even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. “Okay, you’re on,” he said.
The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whisky bottle.
The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, “Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!”
The guy climbed down off the bar and said, “That’s okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!”
Check out our awesome collection of Walks Into A Bar Jokes
Liked these gambling jokes? Then share them with everyone you know.
Related Links: 1. Gambling Jokes from Sickipedia.org 2. Gambling Jokes from Jokes4us.com
Liked this page?
Then why not get our iOS app from Apple App Store? Then you will have the world's biggest collection of jokes and inspiring quotes right in your pocket, and the app will work faster than the site, so it will save you time and keep you entertained.Check These Out:
2X/5X/10X odds - The multiple of your original pass line bet. You make this bet behind your pass line bet and get paid at true odds.
3-Way Craps - A bet made in units of 3 with one unit on 2, one unit on 3, and one unit on 12. This is a horn bet without the bet on 11.
Acey-Deucy - A roll of the dice that results in a 1 and a 2.
Advantage: The edge a casino has over a player on a particular bet.
Any Craps A bet that the next roll will be 2, 3, or 12. This bet pays 7:1.
Any Seven A bet that the next roll will be 7. This bet pays 4:1.
Back Line - Another term for Don’t Pass Line.
Ballerina Dice (aka Hardway) - A roll of the dice that yields a pair deuces.
Bar the 12 - Shown on the craps layout in the Don't Pass Line and Don't Come Box areas. A 12 is a standoff in these areas to ensure the casino has an advantage over the wrong bettors.
Behind the Line - A bet on the free-odds after a point has been established on the come out roll.
Betting Right - Betting that the dice will win on Pass Line and Come bets.
Betting Wrong - Betting that the dice will not win, or pass, by betting Don’t Pass and Don’t Come bets.
Big 6 & Big 8 - A bet that pays even money that a six or an eight will be rolled before a seven.
Big Red - A one roll bet that the next number thrown will be a seven.
Box Numbers - The box areas around the numbers 4, 5, 6, 8, 9 and 10, which is used to mark the point, and to put place, come and buy bets.
Boxcars - A slang term for the roll of the 12.
Boxman - The casino executive who is in charge of the craps table. The Boxman sits between the two dealers and remains seated behind all the casino chips during the play.
Bring Out - A term used by dealers and players when betting on the hardway of a point, to 'bring out' the point.
Buy Bet (Buy the 4 and 10) - Giving the house a 5% commission in order to be paid correct odds for a place bet. The buy bets on 4 and 10 allow the player to reduce the house edge on these bets. Some casinos collect the commission only on winning bets, while others collect it at the time the bet is made.
C & E - A one roll bet on the 2, 3, 11.
Cafeteria dice - aka hardway six (a pair of treys).
Center Bets (Proposition Bets) - The bets located in the center of the layout.
Change Color - Changing casino chips into smaller or larger denomination.
Chips (Checks) - The common term for tokens, issued by a casino in place of money, and having the equivalent of cash.
Cold Dice - Dice which consistently don't pass.
Color Change - The changing of chips to a higher or lower denomination.
Come Bet - A a bet made after the come out roll but in other respects exactly like a pass line bet.
Come Box - The area on the craps layout where Come bets are placed
Come Out Roll - The first roll of the dice in a betting round is called the 'come out' roll. Pass bets win when the come out roll is 7 or 11, while pass bets lose when the come out roll is 2, 3, or 12. Don't bets lose when the come out roll is 7 or 11, and don't bets win when the come out roll is 2 or 3. Don't bets tie when the come out roll is 12 (2 in some casinos; the 'bar' roll on the layout indicates which roll is treated as a tie).
Coming Out - A term to designate that a new come out roll is about to happen.
Correct Odds - The mathematical likelihood, or probability, that a bet will be made a winner (usually the odds a point will be made prior to a 7 rolled).
Crap Out - Rolling a 2, 3 or 12 on the come-out roll, an automatic loser for Pass Line bettors.
Craps - The term for a roll of a 2, 3 or 12. Also the name of the game.
Crew - Four casino employees that staff a craps table, includes a boxman, a stickman, and two dealers.
Dealer - A casino employee who works directly with the player and handles the monetary transactions, bets and payoffs.
Dice - The cubes, which are marked from 1 to 6, whose combinations when, thrown, determine the wins and losses at a craps table
Dice Pass - The dice are said to 'pass' when the shooter rolls a 7 or 11 on the come-out roll. The dice 'don't pass' when the shooter rolls a 2, 3, or 12 on the come-out. If the come-out roll is a 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, or 10, this roll sets the 'point', and the shooter continues to roll until the point is rolled again or a 7 is rolled (see 'seven out'). If the shooter rolls the point before rolling a seven, the dice pass. If the shooter sevens out, the dice do not pass and the shooter loses control of the dice.
“Die in the wood, roll no good” - One of the dice landed in the players chip rack.
Disk (Puck) - A round object white on one side and black on the other. When on the white side and in a place number box signifies that a come-out roll has occurred and that a point has been established.
Don't Come Bet - A bet made after the come out roll but in other respects exactly like a don't pass bet.
Don't Come Box - The area on the layout where a Don't Come bet is made.
Don't Pass Bet - A bet that the dice will not pass. This bet can be placed only immediately before a 'come out' roll. One result (either the 2 or the 12, depending on the casino) will result in a push. A don't pass bet can be taken down, but not increased, after the come-out roll.
Don't Pass Line - The area on the layout where Don’t Pass bets are placed
Don't Pass - A bet made on the come-out roll that the dice will not pass.
Double Odds - A free odds bet made at double the original Pass Line, Don’t Pass Line, Come or
Don’t Come Bet/Wager. Some casinos offer higher odds, such as 5X or even 10X odds.
E.T.: A bet on the eleven and twelve.
Easy Way - The roll of a 4, 6, 8 or 10 where the dice are not matched as a pair (i.e. the hardway), such as 5-5, but other combinations.
Evealine - Eleven, after the point is made.
Even-Money - A payoff of 1:1.
Eyes of Texas Shine Upon Us - Hard Ten
Hardways Bet - the next roll will be a double: 4-4, 6-6, 8-8, or 10-10 before a 4, 6, 8, 10 or 7 appears in any roll.
Field Bet - A bet that the next roll will be 2, 3, 4, 9, 10, 11, or 12. This bet pays even money for 3, 4, 9, 10, and 11, and usually pays 2:1 for 2 or 12. Some casinos pay 3:1 for either the 2 or 12 (but not both), and some casinos may make the 5 instead of the 9 a field roll.
Floorman - A casino employee who stands behind the craps table, checking on the players and authorizing credit for players.
Free-Odds Bet - Another term for any odds bet where the house has no advantage. Either taken (or laid) on a Pass, Don't Pass, Come or Don't Come bet after the point is established.
Front Line - A casino term for Pass Line.
Hard Ten - two fives.Hard Way - A bet on 4, 6, 8, or 10 that wins only if the dice show the same face.
Hi/Lo: A bet on the twelve and two.
High Roller - A player (bettor) who wages large sums of money at a craps table.
Hop Bet - A bet that the next roll will result in one particular combination of the dice, such as 2-2 (called a 'hopping hardway') or 3-5. 2-2, 3-3, 4-4, and 5-5 are paid the same as a one-roll 2; other hop bets are paid the same as a one-roll 11.
Hop - A one roll wager that a particular number will come up on the next throw of the dice.
Horn Bet - A one-roll wager that combines the 2, 3, 11 and 12.
Horn High Bet - A bet made in multiples of 5 with one unit on 3 of the horn numbers, and two units on the 'high' number; e.g.,
Hot Roll - Dice that are continually passing, and that are held by a shooter for a long time before a seven-out.
House Edge (Edge) -The advantage a casino has over a player on a particular bet.
“I can't read 'er, she's in the cedar” - One or both of the dice landed in the players chip rack.
“In the plank, not worth a wank” - One or both of the die landed in the rail.
Inside Bet - A place bet on the number 5, 6, 8, or 9
Inside Numbers - The numbers 5, 6, 8 and 9.
Jesse James - A nine. (Jesse James was shot by a forty-five).
Jimmie Hick - A six.
Lay Bet - A bet that a particular number (4,5,6,8,9, or 10) will NOT be rolled before a 7 comes up. The casino takes 5% of the winnings on these bets. The 5% commission is usually taken up front, but some casinos take the commission after the bet wins.
Lay Odds - After a point has been established, the don't pass bettor can place an additional odds bet that will win if the original don't pass bet wins. The odds bet is paid at the correct odds for the point, and is a fair bet with no house edge. This also applies to a don't come bet. Making this bets is referred to 'laying the odds' for your don't bet.
Lay Wager - Betting against a point number that has been thrown by paying a 5 percent commission
Layout - The imprinted surface of a craps table, which shows all the areas where bets can be placed
Line Bet - A bet on the 'pass line' or the 'don't pass line' is called a 'line' bet. These bets are placed at the beginning of the game, before the 'come out' roll. The shooter is required to make a line bet in order to shoot the dice.
Loaded Dice - Dice that have been weighted to tamper with their roll.
Long and Strong - When the stickman asks you to throw hard enough to hit the backboard.
Marker Buck (Puck) - Plastic round disk used to mark either the point or to indicate that no point is yet established; 'OFF' on one side, 'ON' on the other side.
Midnight –The roll of a 12
Natural - Another term for a 7 or 11 rolled on the come out roll.
Nickels - A term used by experienced players meaning chips with a five dollar denomination
Odds Off - Odds bets that are 'not working'. Odds bets can be called 'off' by the player at any time, but are left on the felt until the bet is resolved. Also, come odds bets are usually 'off' during the come out roll, unless the bettor asks to have the odds bets 'working'. Come odd bets that are 'off' will be returned to the player if the line bet loses on the come out roll. Don't come odds generally work on the come-out roll.
Off : A term meaning that certain bets will not be at risk on the next roll of the dice.
On Base - The term for the dealers other than the stickman
On the Stick - The term to signify that a dealers is now working the stick, and is the stickman for a designated time.
One For The Boys - A bet for the dealers. Used as a gratuity. It is proper casino etiquette to ask the dealer(s) if they would like you to bet for them.
One-Roll Bets - Wagers whose outcome is determined by the very next roll of the dice.
Outside Numbers - The numbers 4, 5, 9 and 10. Usually designated as outside numbers when making a place bet on these numbers.
Ozzie and Harriet - A square pair. (Hard eight.)
Pair of aces in the wrong places - Two
Parlay (Press) - To increase a bet, usually by double.
Pass - A winning situation for the right bettors
Pass Bet - A bet that the dice will pass, also known as a 'pass line' bet. This bet is generally placed immediately before a 'come out' roll, although you can make or increase this bet at any time.
Pass line bet - Betting that the point number will be thrown before a seven.
Pass line - The area on the layout where a pass line bet is made.
Pass - A winning decision for the dice.
Payoff - The paying out of a winning bet to a player
Pit Boss - A casino employee who is in charge of all the tables in a particular area
Place Bet (To Lose) - A bet that a 7 will be rolled before the number you are placing (4,5,6,8,9, or 10) comes up.
Place Bet (To Win) A bet that a particular number (4, 5, 6, 8, 9, or 10) will be rolled before a 7 comes up.
Point - When a 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, or 10 is rolled on the come out roll, then this number becomes the 'point'. The shooter must roll the point again, before rolling a seven, in order for the dice to 'pass'. A 'come point' is just the number that is serving as a point for a come bet.
Proposition Bet - Bets that are made in the center of the layout
Put Bet - A bet made on the pass line after the come out roller a bet made directly onto a come point number.
Quarters - A term used by experienced players meaning chips with a twenty-five dollar denomination
Rails - The grooved area of the craps table where players keep their chips that are not in play
Right Bettor: A player betting that the dice will pass, or win.
Roll - A single throw of the dice. Also, a complete series of throws until the shooter sevens-out.
Rolling The Bones - Throwing the dice. Playing Craps.
Sequence Bet - A bet whose outcome is not necessarily determined on the following roll but may take a succession of rolls to be determined.
Seven Out - When the shooter rolls seven after a point has been established. Control of the dice is transferred to the next shooter.
Shooter - The player who is rolling the dice. The shooter must place a 'line' bet ('pass' or 'don't pass') in order to be eligible to roll the dice.
Popular Craps Sayings Quotes
Slow bleed – Losing a bankroll in a slow and consistent manner.Snake Eyes - A slang term for the number 2.
Square pair - Hard eight.
Standoff - A situation where no decision results from a throw of the dice on certain bets.
Stickman - A casino employee who calls the game and handles the stick at a craps table.
Studio 54 - Nine
Take Odds - After a point has been established, the pass/come bettor can place an additional odds bet that will win if the original pass/come bet wins. The odds bet is paid at the correct odds for the point, and is a fair bet with no house edge.
Ten the hard way - two fives
Tip (Toke) - A gratuity given to a dealer by a player
True Odds - The odds a particular number will be rolled on any single roll of the dice.
“Two rolls and no coffee” - Sevened out after two rolls.
Two Ways - A phrase appended to a hardway or proposition bet to indicate that the player is betting one chip for the dealers along with his own bet.
Vig or Vigorish - A gambler's term for the house edge.
Whirl bet - A one roll bet on the 2, 3, 7, 11 and 12.
Popular Craps Sayings Images
Working - Bets that are 'live' are said to be working. Generally, place bets, buy/lay bets, and come odds bets do not work on the come-out unless you tell the dealers to 'make them work.' All other bets work unless you call them 'off'.
Popular Craps Sayings Games
World Bet - A bet that the next roll will be 2, 3, 7, 11, or 12, made in multiples of 5.
Wrong Bettor - A player who bets against the dice.
Yo (Yo-leven) - A slang term for the 11.